Holidays are Hard

Holidays are a hard time for me. Mostly because my mom passed at the end of 2020, and ever since, it’s just not as joyful. Last year I spent the holidays with my dad in Florida. It was brutal. We didn’t put up the tree like we were supposed to, there was no exchanging presents. Not for lack of trying… I flew Spirit (do NOT recommend) so I sent his gifts ahead and he didn’t wait for them to get there before opening them… He’s also obsessed with Temu, so I got a bunch of things he thought I would like, but wasn’t really my thing. It’s the thought that counts though, so that was nice of him. All of our family is in NY, so it’s just hubby and me in Kansas. He didn’t put up the tree last year because I wasn’t home. We did finally put up the tree this year, but it’s still not sparking the Christmas spirit. We also didn’t decorate outside because it’s been too windy for him to get on the roof and put them up.
I find that once again, it’s just going to be another day for us. We don’t have kids, so we don’t have an excuse to fake it. What do you do to get into the spirit? I just can’t seem to find the excitement to do anything. I look at my totes of holiday stuff and it just makes me miserable thinking of all the work it is to put up, and then take down. I don’t know… maybe we should skip Christmas all together. It’s so stressful and it’s just the two of us. No friends or family near us. I do send out cards, and that is a fun thing for me, but that’s about it. I haven’t even been in the mood to make cookies, or wrap anything, and I love to wrap!
Anyways… what do you do? Is it a struggle for you as well, or are you a lucky one that finds the magic in the season every year without fail? I’m very jealous if you are the latter!