Coffee or Spill the Tea?

“Spill the tea” is the new phrase I have been hearing for a few months now that basically means “give me the deets!” Are you old enough to remember that phrase? How about “What’s the 411?” or “Keep it on the down low”? I feel old. I don’t think being 36 makes me old, but I feel old.

So, let’s spill some tea as the kids these days say. What tea do you want to hear about? How about the crappy service that is Amazon. You want some inside tea? I used to work there! I opened one of the buildings here in Kansas a few years ago. I started on the inside as a counter. What is a counter you may ask? Just what it sounds like. My job was to LITERALLY COUNT EVERYTHING. One of those super fun robots would bring this giant tower of shit to me. I would have to find the cubby of whatever the fuck they wanted me to count, and then pull it out, count it, then put it back. I tell ya what though, for $17 an hour it was easy work. I worked overnight, 12 hour shifts. The hard part was standing on your feet for 11 of the 12 hours. My feet felt like they were going to fall off. One thing they don’t tell you when you work there that if you are ever given the “Ambassador” title, it’s basically impossible to move up into any higher position, or any other job. They didn’t tell me thins when they gave me this “amazing” title. What’s an ambassador do? We train the new people. We have to make it sound fun. I’m a teacher…I can make anything sound fun.

I hated the job after two months. I wanted to do something else. I really wanted to work with the robots. I thought they were cool. This is where that “you aren’t moving from ambassador” bullshit comes in. I wasn’t allowed to move to a different job. Around Christmas that year a job in the trailer yard opened. It’s called “Tom Team”. I applied and got the job. It was actually real cool because I learned how to back up a 53 ft. trailer with a hostler. I’m really good at it by the way. The tea from this, guys are so jealous of girls that are better at their job. I got a lot of shit for being good at my job. To the point that a couple of my managers were worried I would take their job. I didn’t want to be a manager. Too much paperwork. I wanted to be treated equally to the other guys though. I grew up with boys. Most of my cousins are boys. Most of my closest friends are boys. I feel like I’m one of the boys. It was frustrating to be treated differently.

I guess that’s the Boston Tea Party of issues isn’t it? Women in the work place constantly being treated differently than guys. Honestly, I was frustrated that I didn’t get to do the fun things like go learn how to drive a semi. I love being a chick. I don’t want to be treated “equal” per say, because I’m not equal. This might be a hard pill to swallow, but girls are better than boys. We have a week a month where we bleed from our insides AND DON’T DIE! We can carry another human for 9 months, go into labor, and then just be chill. (I’ve never had a kid, so I don’t know the extent of that pain. I have nieces and nephews though, so I’ve heard stories). I think we need to stop demanding to be treated “equal”, and start demanding to be treated better. And I don’t mean better than we are now, I mean better than men. We should be getting those higher pay scales. A lot of women keep up with kids, the house, AND A JOB. They should 100% be getting paid more!

Anyway…our tea got away from us. I was talking about Amazon. Recently I ordered some books for my upcoming signing. Someone explain how the hell my books are “delayed” in shipping? Amazon has to print the books somewhere… then ship them. If the shit is printed, then why the fuck is it delayed? I know that your delivery people revolve faster than a Faris wheel, but come on. You’re telling me that one of the highest grossing businesses in the world can’t keep drivers? If that doesn’t tell you about the state of the work force these days, then nothing will. A company that racks in billions of dollars can’t keep employees because of shit work conditions, and can’t keep up with their own slogan of a timely delivery. What the fuck Amazon?!

Ok, this tea is getting cold. Maybe I’ll come across some more tea in the future. I’m going to go drink some coffee.